insane-ness is back in the game-ness!

After taking a very long hiatus the best blog in the world is finally back in action! Now I'm pretty drunk and otherwise inebriated so this first post is going to be one of the most unsatisfying waste of time, data and... you know what? fuck it, I'm gonna tell you a joke andyyou're going to sit there and read the damn thing. And you're going to like it and laugh at it as well because who are we kidding here? You only stumbled upon this site by accident and you've only read this far because you literally have absolutely nothing better to do. I'd call you a fucking loser, but then I'd have to admit that I'm ten times worse for actually taking the time to write this garbage.  Well here you go you fucking loser, enjoy:

A tattered old piece of string walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says to the string,  I'm sorry but we don't serve alcohol to string, company policy. You are a piece of string, right?
The old string replies "no I'm a frayed knot"


You're welcome. Be sure to bring your loser ass on back here soon because shits about to get raw up in this bitch.

Top 10 Zombie Flicks EVER

Just because the Walking Dead is over doesn't mean you have to start feeding grandma toxic oatmeal in hopes of getting your next zombie fix.  Below are the top 10 zombie movies ever created (as judged by the only person here that actually matters, The Blunt) 



10.  Dawn of The Dead Remake-  

Here's a movie that proves remakes can be done and done well (Burn in hell, Day of the Dead remake).It was no masterpiece, but it was a gory, enjoyable addition to the world of zombie films.

9.  28 Weeks Later -

Once again, the people behind 28 days later take a page out of George A Romero's book and decide to make a sequel that doesn't suck.  This movie managed to up the action without losing focus on what made the original so good (I'm looking at you, Resident Evil sequels).

Insane-ness News 11/28

Big things are poppin up everywhere at Insane-ness, and I'm not just talking about the massive erection I received thanks to the official launch of our new Sex-ness section.  Since our last update, Humor-ness has began its first weekly column, "Know Thy Enemy", which is 100% guaranteed to save your life someday.  As if that weren't enough for you to get on your knees and blow me, the Sports-ness section has just launched its new 'Bet of the Day', quite possibly the easiest way for you to get out of all that messy credit card debt.  But hey, I've got a huge bottle of prescription painkillers calling my name, so take a look around for yourself.  You'll find out the same way everyone does that just like a tranny hooker who ends up being an undercover cop, Insane-ness is full of surprises.

Until next time, officer DICKenson.

Why You Need To Watch 'The Walking Dead'. Right Fucking Now.

The Walking Dead - AMC

 You know what the best thing about zombies are? Nobody wants to fuck a zombie.  That's it, seriously. Because of that one little seemingly unimportant fact, zombies will never be turned into romanticized versions of their former gory selves marketed to preteen girls and homosexual boys... Twilight (and Trueblood, Vampire Diaries, etc.).  No, the biggest make-over any zombie has ever received was the evolution of their advanced motor skills (i.e. They could run) and even that didn't settle well with many hardcore zombie folk.  


The mere fact that every lead role isn't actively trying to fuck the zombies in this show instantly makes it the best horror/monster show on the air (though honestly, true blood really has just delved into pure fantasy).  Fear not however, as while this show is loaded with suspense, it is far from a simple 'horror' show.  Just watch the fuckin' thing.

IMDB rating- 9.4/10


 

BigFoot Now Extinct! Chupacabra Believed Responsible

It's true.

Here in the U.S.A. we have a legendary beast known as Sasquatch, a.k.a. Bigfoot. However, as far as legendary beasts go, he doesn't really do much. It seems he just kind of hides out in the woods, leaving behind the occasional foot print or blurry photograph. Despite this, many folk have gone so far as to dedicate their lives to tracking down this creature and proving its existence to the world. Unfortunately, I fear their efforts are in vain. Not because Bigfoot never existed... oh no, I've seen that sneaky bastard with my own two eyes, stealing tomatoes from my mother's garden when I was younger. The thing is, while Bigfoot surely existed at some point, it is clear now that any remaining specimens have been devoured by a much more sinister cryptid, the Chupacabra.